JUST FOR LAUGHS

Quotations from women about women

 

"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."
- Helen Hayes (at 73)

 

"I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows."
- Janette Barber

 

"Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone."
- Jan King

 

"A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!"
-  Linda Ellerbee

 

"You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears."
- Geri Jewell

 

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends."
- Laurie Kuslansky

 

"Old age ain't no place for sissies."
- Bette Davis

 

"The phrase "working mother" is redundant."
- Jane Sellman

 

"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart."
- Caryn Leschen

 

"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once."
- Jennifer Unlimited

 

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be horrible warning."
- Catherine Aird

 

"When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss.And they called ME slow!"
- Kathy Buckley

 

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I'm also not blonde."
- Dolly Parton

 

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy."
- Erica Jong

 

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
- Roseanne Barr

 

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."
- Elayne Boosler

 

 "I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career."
- Gloria Steinem

 

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?  How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?"
- Linda Ellerbee

 

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